if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
areolas are like halos for boobs.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
