That's when you crack a 10am beer
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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