my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
