So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
