I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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