She announced her abortion via fbk
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Randomize
