how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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