i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
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