Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
