My brain says no but my pants say off.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
