if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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