is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize