Kiss
Puke
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
It's official drugs can't kill me
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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