My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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