their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
