Umm I'm too high to move.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
