i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
i think i have herpe
just one?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Every concussion has its silver lining
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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