In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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