My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
