Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
