i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
