Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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