Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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