i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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