I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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