you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
