I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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