remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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