I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
