i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize