To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
