Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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