i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
