it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
