He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
