That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
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