sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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