After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
You need a sexual gate keeper
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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