That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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