hotel room ftw
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Let's get the cat blown out
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
