discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
