My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Randomize