Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
