honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
