I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Randomize
