I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
