she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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