She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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