Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
