i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
