Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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