You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize