Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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