I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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