Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
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