I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
