So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
