Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
