paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
