The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
We talked him into tasing himself.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
