It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
