fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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