I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
