Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
